Anxiety is one of the most common issues for which people seek therapy. Most people experience anxiety from time to time, but for some people it is an unbidden daily companion. Uncontrolled anxiety can interfere with one’s ability to function at work, at home, and in social situations. Luckily, there are simple strategies that can help to reduce anxiety, and virtually anyone can utilize these strategies.
I have developed an easy-to-remember tool for managing anxiety when it arises. I call it my “Budget” for Anxiety ©: Breathe Deeply, Ground yourself, and Think©. Here’s how it works:
When you notice that you are feeling anxious,
- Breathe Deeply and slowly. Envision your abdomen as the wider bottom of a vase, and each in-breath fills the vase. Breathe in to a count of four, then out to a count of four. Do this 5 times.
- Ground yourself by looking around at your surroundings, noticing as much detail as you can. Touch something near you. Notice the smells, sounds, and temperature that surround you. Continue to breathe easily, slowly, fully.
- Think, by asking yourself, “What is actually happening in this moment?” and answering the question only with fact: “The sun is shining. There are clouds in the sky. I see trees and grass. There is a breeze. It is warm. My feet are on the ground. I am breathing. I am hearing. I am seeing. I am standing in this parking lot.” When you name what is actually true in the moment, you step out of your worry and fear, out of your physical tension, and into the present reality, just for a moment. In doing so, you take your first step toward learning that you can step away from your catastrophic thinking (“Oh my God, I know I will fail that test! Then I will fail the class, and THEN I will have to tell my parents and they will kill me!”). You can also step away from your emotions (fear, self-loathing, shame, guilt) and from your physical sensations (trembling hands, shallow breathing, clenched teeth, tense shoulders).
Taking these three steps, in this order, calms the body’s alarm response long enough for the thinking brain to engage. Once this occurs, it becomes possible to look at the reality of the present, rather than to remain lost in thoughts that fuel the anxiety and make it worse.
So, the next time you notice those tense shoulders, that shallow breathing, and those worst-case-scenario thoughts, stop and remember to BuDGeT!
