Duck, Duck, Goose: Divine Grace and a Morning Miracle

April 23rd, 2012

I was on the way to pick up my taxes from my accountant this morning.  As I made my way through traffic on Dixie Highway, I saw a tiny bird in the middle of the intersection, frantically running back and forth and trying to get to safety.  It was terrified, no doubt, and I was terribly afraid that it would get hit.  Soooo, I did what any normal person would do —  slammed on my brakes, made an illegal U-turn, parked my car in the middle of the   intersection, and jumped out of the car.  Another driver had also stopped, and the two of us  rushed over to herd the precious little bird to the side of the road.  As I scooped it up into my hands and nestled it close to my chest, I saw that it was a fuzzy little gosling, so sweet and vulnerable and scared, with a teeny little bill and eensy little webbed feet.  It was trembling from fear, and I tried to soothe it while I looked around for its parents.  The other woman who had stopped pointed to a nearby yard, where two adult geese stood, looking worriedly at us from across the road.  They were obviously searching for their baby, so I moved my car — baby goose in hand — and then walked slowly toward the nervous parents.  But the closer I came, the further away they moved, until they eventually took flight.

I had no idea what to do.  I started walking in the direction in which they had flown.  I stopped a passer-by to ask if he had seen two geese in the vicinity; he looked at me as if I had gone mad until I explained the situation.  He hadn’t seen the geese, so I kept walking.  I came to a street that wound to the left, up a small hill.  Something told me to turn up that street.  I did, and as I came to the top of the hill, I saw two beautiful ponds surrounded by a little park.  Seeing no sign of geese at the first pond, I moved on to the second.  There, I saw two male mallard ducks and one female, placidly floating in the pond.  No geese, however.  I decided that my best hope was to get about half-way down the sloping bank of the pond, and then to leave the little gosling there in hopes that Mama Duck would notice the helpless baby and move in to protect it.  It worked for the Ugly Duckling, so I had faith that it would work for this beautiful baby goose.  As I prepared to place the baby on the grass, I kissed the top of her (I coudn’t think of it as “it” anymore) little head, promised her that I would not just leave her there if no one (duck or goose) came to the rescue, and asked God to bless and protect her.  I laid her gently on the grass and then slowly backed away toward the top of the hill.  There I waited and hoped and prayed, focusing all my energy on calling in the baby’s parents and asking over and over for Mama Duck to come and comfort the gosling until her parents arrived.

Sure enough, after just a few minutes, Mama Duck made her way over to little goose, who came scurrying down the bank to snuggle in next to her.  I started to cry.  Then I heard honking in the distance.  Mama Duck started quacking, as if calling to the geese, “Over here!  Over here!”  I could faintly hear little goose, too, chirping as loudly as she could alongside her stand-in mama.  The honking grew louder, and before I knew it four geese appeared.  They flew in and landed on the adjacent pond.  Two of them then began to slowly move toward the other pond, where Mama Duck and little goose waited on the grassy bank and the two mallard ducks stood guard at the water’s edge.  As the two geese approached, the mallard ducks moved in unison into the pond and then down the bank a bit, almost as if they were opening the gate to allow the geese to enter.  The parent geese were ambling over to their baby as I said a tearful prayer of thanks, asked God’s blessing and protection for all six of them, and then turned to walk back to my car.

I am humbled and joyful and just awestruck at the absolute perfection of it all.  That such a series of miracles could take place at that moment in that location, and that I was privileged  to witness it…it took my breath away.  The wonder and power of nature and the     indomitable nature of love.  Divine grace is all around us.  I am so grateful.

 

 

Relax and Restore with Reiki!

April 14th, 2012

Reiki energy healing is a simple and relaxing form of treatment for emotional stress, physical pain, and bodily imbalance.  Reiki directs chi, or life force energy, to your body’s energy centers, or chakras.   This opens and balances your chakras, so that your energy flows freely and your body’s natural healing processes are restored.

Dr. Evelo is a Reiki Master practitioner.  During a Reiki session, you recline (fully clothed) on a comfortable massage table.  Then you simply relax, as Dr. Evelo delivers renewing chi to your body’s energy centers.  The treatment promotes a soothing sense of peacefulness and deep relaxation.  Your energy is balanced and restored, creating the ideal conditions for optimum mind/body healing.

Dr. Evelo offers Reiki treatment sessions by appointment at her Cincinnati office location.

Relax and Restore with Reiki!  Call Dr. Evelo today for your Reiki healing session.  513-309-3531.  Weekday and Saturday appointments are available!

From Ask Dr. Evelo: “What is the best way to become more attuned with the third eye and crown chakras?”

March 19th, 2012

What is the best way to become more attuned with the third- eye and crown chakra?

The best way to become more attuned with the third eye and crown chakra is to first and foremost, be still.  When we are still, we can focus our attention within and truly fine tune our awareness to focus on the actual locations within or around the body.  If we are able to do this, we can begin to actually feel the energy in these areas.

To test this for yourself, sit with your eyes closed and breathe normally, in and out.  Notice the sensations of the in breath, and then the out breath.  When you are ready, draw your attention to your scalp.  Just noticing your scalp will bring an area of your body to your attention that you likely have not often noticed.  Notice sensations in your scalp.  You might feel a kind of tingling, or buzzing.  That is the energy moving through your scalp.

We can do the same thing with our chakras.  We can simply direct our attention to those areas and then we can begin to feel the energy in those areas.  Usually this process will get the energy moving through our chakras, so that our system begins to balance itself and our energy flows easily through us.

Another way to become more attuned with third eye and crown chakras, or any chakras, is to work with an energy healer.  As they balance your chakras you can carefully attend to the sensations you feel in your body, especially in the areas of your chakras.  Even if you do not really notice any sensations, y0u will be drawing your attention to these areas and this will in itself help you to become more attuned to your chakras.

Peace.

Random Acts of Kindness Cause Positive Brain Changes

February 16th, 2012

We all know that doing something nice for someone helps us to feel good.  Now there is scientific evidence that it also stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain.

Reports in two journals, Science and Nature Neuroscience, describe the effects of charitable giving and helping behavior on the brain’s reward centers.  In addition, brain researcher David Linden, Ph.D., states in his book, The Compass of Pleasure, that the pleasure centers affected by performing acts of kindness are the same ones that are activated by exercise.

Evidence of exercise’s benefits for treating depression is pouring in from around the world.  There is no disputing that it is the number one thing that people can do to help themselves manage depression, weight, and cardiovascular health.  It also helps with stress management.

Given that we know how much exercise helps us, perhaps we psychologists should be prescribing random acts of kindness for those who struggle with depression.  It certainly is an economical intervention; it costs nothing to open the door for someone, give up your seat on the bus, carry someone’s groceries, serve dinner at a homeless shelter, shovel your neighbor’s snow…there are endless ways in which we can help someone in some way every day of our lives.

Can you imagine how our world would be if we all did that?

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The Winds of Emotion: How to Stay Centered When They Blow

February 4th, 2012

Today I was catching up on email messages from the week, since I am usually a few days behind in reading them.  I came upon a message from Tricycle Magazine, a Buddhist/Meditation resource that delivers daily “Dharma,” or teachings, to subscribers.  They are always short, simple, and readily applicable to my life.  I find them to be helpful because they remind me of what is important; most often, what I am doing when I stumble upon them is not.

We often struggle to recognize and relax into our feelings, because we either identify with them or fear being engulfed by them.  I offer this brief “Daily Dharma” wisdom to you, in hopes that you find it useful when encountering your emotions.

Tricycle: Awake in the World

Tricycle Daily Dharma January 30, 2012

Winds of Emotion

Awareness is the basis, or what you might call the “support,” of the mind. It is steady and unchanging, like the pole to which the flag of ordinary consciousness is attached. When we recognize and become grounded in awareness of awareness, the “wind” of emotion may still blow. But instead of being carried away by the wind, we turn our attention inward, watching the shifts and changes with the intention of becoming familiar with that aspect of consciousness that recognizes “Oh, this is what I’m feeling, this is what I’m thinking.” As we do so, a bit of space opens up within us.

- Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, “The Aim of Attention”
Read the entire article in the Tricycle Wisdom Collection

 

Peace,

Leslie

For Women Only: Stop Rehearsing Those Negative Messages About Your Body!

January 12th, 2012

The noise in our minds can be deafening.  We don’t even recognize the cacophony most of the time, unless we stop and pay attention to it.  But the stories and the comments that comprise this ceaseless soundtrack are affecting us anyway, whether or not we are actively listening.

A friend and I were talking about this tonight, in a roundabout sort of way.  We were lamenting the fact that although both of us know the untruth of our respective body images, we still find that we berate ourselves for missing a workout, eating too much pizza, gaining the inevitable pounds that come with middle age.  My friend, a dietician, said that she subscribed to a women’s “health” magazine recently, only to discover that its cover regularly featured super-skinny actresses who, no doubt, have personal trainers and chefs who make their svelte figures possible.  I chimed in that virtually everything we see and hear reminds us women that we should be thin, sexy, perfect partners, super mothers, expert cooks, accomplished socializers, successfully employed and still have time to work out regularly.  Women’s bodies sell cars, web services, magazines, movies, music, alcohol, and countless diet products.  So my friend, the dietician, and I, the psychologist, who know better than to believe the messages, believe them anyway.  It is maddening sometimes.

Why does this happen?  For one thing, the cultural messages about perfect women and perfect bodies don’t stop.  They keep coming, too fast and too numerous to mentally challenge each one.  Second, they are some of the earliest and most reinforced messages that we learned.  They seem to pop up automatically.  And they are well-rehearsed.

So what do we do with them?  Well, it’s not about erasing them.  That is not a realistic proposition.  It is about redirecting our attention to something more positive and more real about ourselves.  I can remind myself that I am 50 years old — not 22 — and therefore I should not have the body of a 22 year old, nor should I be able to work out as hard as a 22 year old woman.  That is reality.  I can add to that that I do not have the personal trainer, the chef, the money, or the time to create a perfect body.  On the positive message side, I can comfortably say that I am fit and strong, that I have a nice smile, that I am healthy, smart, and sometimes witty.  I can look at specific parts of my body and sincerely say that I am satisfied with – or even  like – them.  I have a body that works well, moves easily, allows me to do the things I need to do, and lets me see, hear, touch, taste, smell, think about and interact with my environment.  Just that is pretty miraculous.

The idea is that paying attention to these realities and reminding myself of them changes my energy  because it changes my thoughts, and that makes me feel better.  I am less tense, I can smile, I can stand up straight, I can breathe.  Because my attention is no longer going toward rehearsing those old, berating messages, they naturally begin to lose their strength.  Even at the neurological level this is happening, as the neurons associated with thoughts about my body become untangled from those that are associated with anxiety, unhappiness , and physical tension.  So literally, different thoughts are creating different and new pathways in my brain that strengthen the positive reactions and weaken the negative ones.

Is this easy to do?  No.  It requires mental effort.  It means first noticing the stories in our heads, seeing how they make us feel, and then redirecting our thoughts repeatedly and deliberately.  Over and over again.  And again.  It’s easier to stay stuck in the negative beliefs and messages, for sure.  But I’m tired of that, and perhaps you are, too.  Plus, most of us have the old messages down — we don’t need any more rehearsal.

Try it as an experiment, and see if shifting your thoughts can shift your outlook.

When Holidays Bring Sadness: Coping With Grief During the Season

December 22nd, 2011

Maria lost her partner of 22 years earlier this year.  Susan’s sister was killed in an accident in October.  Mark’s wife had a stroke in June, and has not regained her ability to speak or to understand what he says to her.  And Josie lost her son ten years ago, but finds that around the Holidays she misses him most.

As November ended and the Holidays were in full swing, all of these people felt themselves sinking into deep sorrow.  They watched as friends and family happily prepared for Holiday festivities, and wondered how it was that Christmas had become so sad for them.  Unable to concentrate at work, they spent their time at home, staring into space or too restless to sit still.

What they all shared in common was what we call “SUG’s, ” or Sudden Upsurges of Grief.  The winter Holidays recalled for them memories of Holidays past, and of how things were “before” – before they lost the ones they had loved.  Whether to death, illness, break-up or divorce, loss is marked by anniversary dates.  These can be dates of death, birthdays, anniversaries, or shared traditions – such as the Holidays.  With these marker events often comes powerful, raw grief.  People are often surprised by how deeply they ache with sadness, or by how empty they feel.  And it does not seem to matter whether the actual loss was weeks, months, or years ago; grief shows up unannouced and on its own schedule.

Sudden Upsurges of Grief are entirely normal, especially around events or traditions that center around family togetherness.  They are a part of the journey through grief, and they are reminders of how temporary everything is in this life – health, relationships, and life itself.  It is a bittersweet reality; loss is inevitable and we all experience it, and knowing this makes each moment more precious.

It is important to keep in mind that even though feelings of loss and sadness may seem unbearable, they, too, are temporary.  Waves of feeling will rise and fall, and the task is to breathe through each one, knowing that it will recede.  Sharing the pain with someone can  help to ease the burden of grief.  We are not meant to walk the journey alone.  Remembering good times with a loved one, though it might bring tears, can also help to balance feelings of sadness with happiness and light.

Most of all, it is helpful to be fully present with each moment.  In this way, we create new memories and new traditions, and we keep ourselves grounded in the here and now.  There is wonder in each moment, right here, in the simple fact that we breathe and that we are alive.

Peace to all of you, and may the next year bring you happiness and prosperity.

 

This Holiday, Eat With Love

December 15th, 2011

“…while visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.”  And cookies, pies, and candy.  So much delicious, enticing food surrounds us this time of year, and for many people it is a source of anxiety rather than of pleasure.  It’s a love/hate thing, wanting to indulge in the sweets of the season but plagued by the voice inside that says, “don’t do it, you’ll be sorry later!”

I recently discussed the issue of guilt in eating with some friends, and one of them shared with me a very helpful suggestion.  I would like to offer it to you, in hopes that it enables you to partake fully in the culinary delights of the holidays.

My friend’s suggestion was simple:  instead of telling yourself how bad it is that you are eating – or about to eat – a food you like, enjoy that food with love.  Fully savor every bite, noting the taste, smell, and texture of the food.  Relish the experience.  Think of the care that went into bringing this food to you – from harvesting each ingredient to transporting it to the store to preparing it for you to enjoy, right here, right now.  Eat it with gratitude,  love and pure delight.

This is a far cry from the hurried and shame-filled experience of arguing with ourselves about whether we should eat something, then filling our minds with so much guilt that we completely miss the actual experience of eating it.  This is mindful eating, and we usually end up eating less when we eat this way!  When we allow ourselves to embrace the pleasure of eating, we feel satisfied because we are not mindlessly stuffing ourselves.  We are taking the time to enjoy each bite.  And in so doing, we change the entire energy of the experience of eating from anxious to relaxed and joyful.  That is good for our minds and our bodies!

May you all enjoy the blessings of this Holiday season!

Holiday Tips to Stress Less Over What You Eat

November 23rd, 2011

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, the traditional holiday for gathering with friends and family to celebrate our connections to one another, express gratitude for our many blessings,  and to overeat.

We associate Thanksgiving with food in a way that we do not with other holidays, and for people who are trying to watch their weight the day can present all sorts of dilemmas about which foods are “allowed” and which are not.  The entire day can become filled with anxiety and guilt that leave one feeling anything but celebratory.

For those who want to keep their holiday eating healthy and balanced, physician and nutrition expert Dr. John LaPuma offers a few easy to follow tips to help make the day more enjoyable.

First, Dr. LaPuma suggests starting or ending the meal with a walk, outside – no matter the weather.  “I think we’ve lost that tradition in our country, and it’s an important one; to hang out with friends and family, anticipate the meal, enjoy it, and then, in a way, recap it with a walk,” he says.  “You can even walk before you eat – and/or after – but it’s an important part of the day.”

Second, it is important that you allow yourself to really enjoy the food.  States Dr. LaPuma, “Food is so much more difficult to enjoy if you have a huge amount of guilt about it – like, ‘I’m eating this and I really shouldn’t’ or, ‘I wonder how many calories this is.’ If you have decided to sit down and enjoy it, then really embrace it – and don’t worry so much.”

The third – and perhaps most important– tip, according to Dr. LaPuma, is to use the right sized plates.  “If you have a choice, if you are the hostess or host and you are setting the table for people, try using slightly smaller plates; six-inch plates / seven-inch plates with rims,” he suggests.  “Serve the food on individual plates in a beautiful way; if you’re not serving individual plates, then put serving dishes on the table in a beautiful way. It helps people capture the delight of eating and feasting together, and with that delight and beauty, you feed both their eyes and their stomachs.”

So if you are worried about holiday overeating, try these suggestions and see if they can help you to enjoy your holiday celebrations.

The above information appears courtesy of Dr. John LaPuma and Dr.Ruth Buczynski,  President of the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine.

Reaction to Penn State Scandal: What Should We Do With Our Anger?

November 21st, 2011

When we learn that children have been sexually abused, we sometimes feel the need to do something with our anger.  We want to blame someone, to have them somehow “pay” for what they have done.   In our desire to seek  justice for the victims, we can mistake association with guilt; anyone who is even remotely associated with the perpetrator can become the target for blame.

I think that Penn State, its students and alumni have suffered that fate.  Rather than directing their anger toward the perpetrator and those who attempted to cover up the abuse, some people have lashed out against anyone associated with the university.  The integrity of the university has been questioned  along with  its academic and moral standards, and this is not fair.

My own comments were no exception and were perhaps too broadly directed.  I heard from one Penn State alumna who felt hurt and angry about the ill treatment she has received as a consequence of her refusal to disavow her alma mater in its entirety.  To her point: one bad apple (or three or ten) does not spoil the whole bunch.  Students, faculty, and staff who were not involved should not be made to pay for the acts of a few.

Penn State has done some really good things in the wake of this tragedy.  Students and supporters held a candlelight vigil for the abuse victims that stretched as far as the eye could see.  Fans at the Penn State football game against Nebraska wore blue instead of their usual home game white in honor of Pennsylvania’s Blue Ribbon Campaign against child abuse.  Alumni have joined forces to raise nearly $500,000.00 for RAINN, the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network for survivors (http://www.rainn.org/news-room/alums-unite-to-show-what-penn-state-is-really-all-about).  We have heard very little about those things in the media, which is also unfair.

I would suggest that we use the energy of our anger to do something positive.  One way is to donate money or time to organizations that support survivors of child abuse and that work to prevent it.  (A list of them follows this post.*)  We can speak out against child abuse by writing letters to editors and by advocating for services for abuse survivors.  We can act when we see, know of, or suspect abuse by reporting it to police or child protective services, and by intervening when we can do so safely.   This story has at least thrust the ugly reality of childhood sexual abuse into the public eye.  Perhaps one or several children will be helped because more people will be paying attention and will be willing to report abuse when it occurs.

*(Please note:  the partial list of  resources that follows does not represent the author’s endorsement of or affiliation with any organization.)

Rape Abuse and Incest National Network, www.rainn.org

Love Our Children USA – www.loveourchildrenusa.org

Child Advocates.org -  www.childadvocates.org

Childhelp.org – www.childhelp.org

National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence – www.nccafv.org

American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children – www.apsac.org

Stop It Now! – www.stopitnow.org

Stop Child Abuse – www.stopcsa.org 

Court Appointed Special Advocates for Children – www.casaforchildren.org

Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests – www.snapnetwork.org